Are you setting the precedence for relationship goals or are you a living and breathing example of what not to do in one’s love life? Consult our warning signs below and find out.

8 Bright Red Flags Warning You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

1. You criticize more than you compliment one another.

Next time you interact with your partner, take note of your language (verbal and body) and that of your partner. Which do you do more: fight or enjoy each other’s company?

2. You try to control each other. All the time.

Our desire for control often stems from a place of vulnerability. But when we try to control things like how our partner styles his or her hair or how he or she spends time, the result is more often than not one of retaliation or resentment.

3. You don’t give each other enough space.

When you become an integrated part of each other’s lives, make sure you can still decipher where your partner ends and you begin. Allow yourself the time and space to continue to do the things you love.

4. You get jealous and possessive.

When these feelings arise and we communicate them openly, they can reinforce our care and love for our partner. But, when jealousy and possessiveness lash out in hurtful words and actions, we often can ruin a good thing.

5. You don’t communicate, or when you do, you often lie to one another.

If you’ve been lying to your partner, or suspecting that they’ve been lying to you, think about why that might be. Are there certain things you do that the other wouldn’t approve of? Try to keep an open line of communication.

6. You no longer have a physical or emotional connection. (You can’t wait to be alone).

If the thought of being intimate with your partner a.) disgusts, b.) irritates or c.) scares you in any way, this is a bright red flag that you’re not in a healthy relationship.

7. Your friends prefer to hang out “just with you” or not at all.

Do you get the sense that your friends aren’t as candid with you when your partner is around? Observe the comments and actions of your friends and compare how they differ when your significant other isn’t around.

And perhaps the #1 killer of happy and healthy relationship is…

8. You’re just not compatible.

Have you and your partner sat down to discuss important life values, beliefs and goals? If you each draw a completely different picture of your future, it may be time to seriously reconsider the future and your perspective roles in it.

How can you save your relationship from drowning in a sea of negativity?

  • Get to know yourself (do you want to have kids? Do you actually like your job? Where could you see yourself living long term?).
  • Introduce mindfulness and meditation into your relationship.
  • Try counseling.

Gauging a successful relationship, or even one that is slowly poisoning your happiness, involves learning how to identify the signs of a toxic relationship, recognizing them when they’re right in front of you, searching for proactive solutions and knowing when it’s time to safely escort yourself to the nearest exit.